How Do You Find Leaders?

On this Leadership Friday I want to share an article Fred Smith wrote on identifying potential leaders.  It is a good indicator of what traits leaders should possess, and it is a great reminder of what we should be looking for in those that lead…  Here they are;

1. Leadership in the past. The best predictor of the future is the past. When I was in business, I took note of any worker who told me he was superintendent of a Sunday school or a deacon in his church or a Boy Scout leader. If he showed leadership outside of the job, I wanted to find out if he had some leadership potential on the job.

2. The capacity to create or catch vision. When I talk to people about the future, I want their eyes to light up. I want them to ask the right questions about what I’m talking about.

(I love what Steve Jobs (Apple CEO) said to a Pepsi Exec, “You want to sell sugar water the rest of your life or do something that will change the world?)

A person who doesn’t feel the thrill of challenge is not a potential leader.

3. A constructive spirit of discontent. Some people would call this criticism, but there’s a big difference in being constructively discontent and being critical. If somebody says, “There’s got to be a better way to do this,” I see if there’s leadership potential by asking, “Have you ever thought about what that better way might be?”

People locked in the status quo are not leaders. I ask of a potential leader, Does this person believe there is always a better way to do something?

4. A willingness to take responsibility.  Responsibility leads to opportunity.

You have probably been around someone that doesn’t want to take on more responsibility, they are most likely not good leaders.

5. A completion factor. I might test somebody’s commitment by putting him or her on a task force. I’d find a problem that needs solving and assemble a group of people whose normal responsibilities don’t include tackling that problem. The person who grabs hold of the problem and won’t let go, like a dog with a bone, has leadership potential. This quality is critical in leaders, for there will be times when nothing but one’s iron will says, “Keep going.”

6. Mental toughness. No one can lead without being criticized or without facing discouragement. A potential leader needs a mental toughness. I don’t want a mean leader; I want a tough-minded leader who sees things as they are and will pay the price.

Leadership creates a certain separation from one’s peers. The separation comes from carrying responsibility that only you can carry.

7. Peer respect. Peer respect doesn’t reveal ability, but it can show character and personality.

Maxey Jarmen used to say, “It isn’t important that people like you. It’s important that they respect you. They may like you but not follow you. If they respect you, they’ll follow you, even if perhaps they don’t like you.”

8. Family respect. I also look at the family of a potential leader: Do they respect him or her?

Fifteen years ago, my daughter said, “Dad, one thing I appreciate is that after you speak and I walk up, you are always attentive to me. You seem proud of me.” That meant a lot to me.

9. A quality that makes people listen to them. Potential leaders have a “holding court” quality about them. When they speak, people listen. Other people may talk a great deal, but nobody listens to them. They’re making a speech; they’re not giving leadership. I take notice of people to whom others listen. 

Granted this is not an end all list; but it does help us see ourselves better and keep an open eye for upcoming talent!  I did edit some of this from my perspective and also for length.

Priorities… When Family Has To Come First

I have a conflict this weekend – a dilemma that should not be that difficult to sort out, but I am an extremely loyal guy, and I have deep desires to do what I say I will do and not shirk responsibility.  I recently started an advisory board to help me make decisions and direct the church I serve at.  We all agreed to make the meetings a priority in our lives so that things don’t distract this team from working and moving forward.  We scheduled meetings on Sunday nights every three weeks.  The last meeting we had was three weeks ago, right before I got sick, but Trish was sick then.  (All of the month of February we have had someone really sick in the house)  So for this entire month our kids have been relegated to the house.  They have helped clean, cook, do laundry, and wait on their sick parents and have had great attitudes throughout the whole ordeal.  They have been troopers, and I am so appreciative!

Now the conflict… there is a concert coming to Colorado Springs called Winter Jam, it is cheap and there are about five artists coming that our kids love; it is scheduled at the same time this meeting is and I have to choose between my family and my job responsibilities.  (not many concerts come here) The guys that meet with me are all very busy and it is hard to arrange a time to get together.  My family needs to have some fun this weekend… I am stuck… I know the right thing to do, but I feel it sends a message to the guys involved that our agreement is not really that important. For some reason I have a really hard time with decisions like this.  I cannot imagine telling the kids that I cannot go, they would be heartbroken hearted, they would go and have fun, but I would miss out on so much.  The twins will be driving next year (with permits) and they all are growing up so fast!   This really shouldn’t be this hard, but not meeting with the guys would set us back another 3 weeks!

I will eventually do the right thing; canceling or rescheduling the meeting and going with the family to the concert, but it won’t be easy.  Darn that loyalty thing!

Depressed?

I heard an interesting statistic this morning on Good Morning America, 1 out of every 2.5 Americans are on anti-depressants!  That only accounts for the ones that admit they are depressed, go see a doctor about it and get on some kind of medication; I bet there are a whole lot more people that have never taken those steps.  That means that there are a lot of unhappy people out there!  You may be one of them, and I know how hard that is…  Depression is insidious and difficult, it takes away all the beautiful colors of the world, the sounds you hear change, the tastes you have diminish, it is like closing down a human being.  That is not living, that is only adapting to a hostile environment. 

Now I am not going to suggest that there are easy solutions to depression; I don’t think there are, but I do know that as Americans we have a tendency to find our happiness in places that are just going to disappoint us.  Chemicals play a big part in depression, so there is no question medications are necessary, but attitude can be a start in helping find the joy of living.  You may have heard that it is not only housing that is putting people in financial difficulties, but now car loans are doing the exact same thing!  It is as if as Americans we are required to go out and spend way more than we make to have the nicest homes and cars… then add all the stuff you put in the homes and cars, and it is no wonder we become unhappy!  We are living our lives to have things, not living our lives to explore the wonder of humanity, relationships and the joy of being people!  Stuff is just stuff, don’t mortgage your stress level to the limit for things, it only makes you unhappy… 

If you are unhappy, try this to start with; invite a friend or two to dinner.  Buy some nice food and drinks, spend a day preparing for the meal, find the wonder and joy from making something, then enjoy the meal with your friends.  Talk, share and let them into your world, most likely they are feeling the same way you are – remember nearly half the people out there are depressed too!  This is a great start to social relationships that can be so helpful to finding joy, happiness and peace in life again.  (And if you are still really unhappy, talk to a doctor, they can help, you don’t have to keep feeling this way!)

Why I Blog, And Why You Should Too!

People are interesting.  The things that make us tick, think, cry, get angry, make us happy, things we enjoy or think; all this makes us very interesting people.  I think the first question anyone asks when they consider blogging is, “who would want to read what I write, I am not that interesting?”  But I couldn’t disagree more! 

If you look at the circumstances in your life and realize they are part of a bigger story, a story that you play a major role in, you realize that not telling your part of the story leaves a blank chapter in the book of life!  Now I am not saying that I write a blog because I am so full of myself that the world would not be the same without my input, only that I feel like I have an obligation to contribute my part of the message, hoping that it will encourage, help, bring joy, highlight, or brighten someone’s day.

So how do you start?  Go to WordPress.com and sign up a new blog.  It is easy, they walk you through it and if you have questions post a comment to this entry and I will help you.  Once you get started remember there is no pressure, tell us about you, tell us about your day, tell us what makes you happy, sad, lonely, angry, tell us what your best day would be like, tell us how your journey has brought you to where you are and where you hope to go on the rest of it!  It doesn’t have to be great literature to begin, it doesn’t even have to be daily, but the more you write the more you will love it, and the more the world will benefit from what you have to say!

Now, this post was part of a tag I received from Wineymomma, I am supposed to tag three more people, but I am finding from personal experience that tagging gets mundane, so I am not tagging anyone… BUT if you begin a blog because of this post please let me know!  And if you read this and want to comment on why you blog or don’t blog please let me in on your reasons!

My Wild Weekend – Things Don’t Always Go As Planned

My plans for the weekend changed drastically Friday night.  I had been feeling pretty good Friday morning so being the “gotta get it done” kind of guy I am, we filled our day with running errands that had been neglected for a couple weeks while Trish and I have both been sick.  It was a pretty full day, and by late afternoon I was pooped.  Trish has been feeling increasingly better and since she had been stuck in the house for weeks, she went over to her sister’s house after dinner.  I stayed home with one of the twins and we were watching TV.  Nothing good on as usual, so I found a repeat of America’s Funnies Videos, a favorite of mine and we began watching.  About five minutes into it a really funny video came on and I started laughing – hard.  Then I started coughing, then the next thing I know I am coming too feeling like I had no idea where I was.  I had passed out.  I had what we later discovered was a coughing syncope, you can flail around and it looks a lot like a seizure.  Nothing too bad, but until you know it is not a seizure it is a scary experience.  Especially to a 14 year old at home alone with an unconscious dad! 

After the “event” a good friend that is a nurse came by and took all my vitals (thanks Jackie!) and said I was probably fine.  So Saturday I sat around most of the day, trying to muster the strength to finish preparing the sermon I was to preach on Sunday.  A great friend brought enough lunch (thanks Amy!) that we had it for 2 days!  It was to be my first sermon as the new Senior Pastor of our church, so I was intently looking forward to delivering it.  After a couple of phone calls from my very concerned parents and still not feeling very well at all, we decided to go to the hospital to have things checked out.  After waiting almost 2 hours to be seen, they did an EEG, IV steroids and antibiotics, chest x-rays, and gave me a breathing treatment.  2 hours after that they sent me home, with an inhaler, more steroids, antibiotics and a painkiller to make me sleep.  The doctor also told me to take it easy… (how many times have I heard that recently!)  I called a friend to preach for me (thanks Henry!) because there was no way I was going to be able to do it.  I can’t tell you how hard that was!  

All this because of a silly virus that has been going around!  I can tell you again how lucky we are to be surrounded by great friends and family that have been so willing to jump in and help.  Having community like this makes all the difference in the world.  I can also tell you that when things don’t go the way I hope they do, and the plans change I can get really frustrated, it makes me have to rely even more on my trust in God, that He knows what He is doing even when I don’t.  I don’t understand why it happened this way, and I want to get better now!  I am sure patience is a virtue that I am lacking and I sure don’t want to spend a whole lot of time learning it!  I also know that God is right here with me through all of this, even when I cant sleep, cough so hard it hurts, and go stir crazy because I cant get anything done!

Tired Of Criticism? How To Respond To Criticism.

The Philosopher Aristotle is quoted as saying, “If you don’t like criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”

Unfortunately if you lead anything you will be criticized.  Sometimes it will be vicious and without merit, but sometimes it will actually be constructive; you have to interpret and decide which is which.  New leaders are especially prone to criticism; they have not earned the trust of the people they lead yet, and any change that is made or divergent thinking can be considered a threat to the status quo.  There is a balance necessary between listening well to those you lead, and learning to respond to the criticism that comes. 

Leaders will be criticized, there are no ifs, ands or buts about it.  Understanding that the alternative – not leading, or in the case of Aristotle, “do nothing, say nothing, be nothing,” is just not acceptable, then we as leaders need to learn to accept it, grow from it, and discern when to forget about it all together.  The response to criticism cannot be paralysis, we have to overcome it and move forward.  Remember, don’t get defensive, remove the emotional sting from the criticism as much as possible and never go on the attack.  Nine times out of ten there will be some good take-aways in the criticism, so learn to value people’s positions.  That doesn’t mean they are always right, only that you may have missed their perspective or values in your decisions or actions.  This is not easy to do when people are coming at you with daggers I know!  I have occasionally felt like there was a mob with torches and pitchforks coming to kick me out of their kingdom!  If you don’t learn how to hear criticism and respond to it well, you will always alienate those you lead.  They will consider you “unavailable” and “unapproachable,” not good leadership qualities.  It is important that we learn to respond well to criticism.

Sometimes as leaders we live for the accolades that comes with being out in front, but we forget that when you are out in front you become a really easy target.  I have been, and will be, a target, it is not a fun place to be, but some of the best growth I have ever experienced has come from others criticism of me.  It can either sideline us or make us stronger leaders, my hope and prayer for you today is that the difficulties and criticism you encounter makes you a better leader for it. 

Have you faced criticism?  How did you handle it?

Your Place In The Story

This weekend I begin preaching every week.  It is a little daunting, but I am having fun with it.  As I am preparing for this weekend’s message, I am thinking a lot about stories.  Particularly there is a great story in the Bible about a woman that winds up being queen and saving her people (Jews) from being destroyed by an evil man that has the king’s ear.  You can read the whole story in the Bible, it is found in the book of Esther. It is such a great story that the Jews still celebrate a holiday around it called Purim.  They make cookies to share, dress up like the characters in the story and when the story is read they boo and make noises to drown out the evil man’s name! 

Purim begins March 20, so it is coming up, and I don’t think you need to be Jewish to celebrate it.  The people are challenged to do something I think we should all do the next four weeks…  First they are told to bake sweets and take them to their neighbors; always a great idea to develop relationship with people you share the street with!  And secondly, they try to do something to help someone.  I have a great friend in Texas that is starting a church and they have raked leaves for a youth safe house, and have gone to a retirement center to play games with the people there!  What great ideas! 

The best part of this particular story is that the hero and heroin in it were normal every day people.  People like you and me, minding their own business, but doing the right thing – and the next thing you know they are immortalized in history!  I believe that we are all heroes and heroines in our own life stories.  Life is a story, sometimes a tragedy, sometimes a comedy, but we all have an important part to play.  Finding our places in the story sometimes takes a long time, but has great consequences…  Imagine the difference between feeling like life is happening too you verses the idea that you were created to be the central character in your life!  It makes me want to celebrate right along with Purim! 

It shouldn’t be hard for us to join in the Purim celebration; we all love a great story, right?  These next few weeks lets all join together to think about how we can help someone, and bake (or buy) something nice for a neighbor!  

Are You Talented Enough?

 

Because of the writers strike, I have lost interest in most television.  The only show that I have found myself really interested in lately is American Idol.  It is season 7, and I haven’t watched since probably season 2 or 3, but since there is nothing else worth tuning into, guess what?  They recently finished the mass auditions and it made me think of all the times us well-meaning people set those we love up for failure.  You and I both know that many of the contestants that were in the auditions were, in Simon’s words, “absolutely horrible.”  But almost in every case when the judges tell the people they are not good, the people are in shock!  Why?

Being in a mid sized city and moving to a large city made me realize some similarities between American Idol and just about anything people compete in or for.  Talent pools can be very shallow.  The level of talent in Dallas was much, much deeper than the level of talent in Colorado Springs.  The sports were all played more intensely, the musicians were all incredibly talented, and the artists were phenomenal.  The lifestyles there allowed for better coaches, trainers and mentors.  It was an epicenter of talent.  The talent pool was much deeper.  If you are an average or below average player there, you know it, and you know what you have to do to improve.  You get the opportunity to either excel at something or realize that you need to try something else. 

So what?  Here is the thing, we all have talents and skills.  The earlier we find out where we thrive and get into the deepest talent pool we can find, the better honed our skills and talents will be.  The best challenges and mentors are found in the deepest pools, but it is time for us to start telling the truth to those that we love; they may be pursuing something that they truly are not suited for.  Lets help people find out what their God given talents are and encourage them to be the best at that!  Most people are not great singers, lets not tell them they are – that just leads to looks of shock and bewilderment and maybe even embarrassment in front of Simon, Randy and Paula and the rest of the nation with nothing else to watch!

If you are good at something, mentor someone with potential!  If you have potential for something, find yourself an honest mentor that will tell you the truth.  Remember, someone taking money for lessons or coaching is in it to make money and will most like continue taking your money!  If you are not sure what you are good at, start asking people around you that are not so blinded by love for you that they cannot be objective.  There are books and tools to help you figure your greatest potential out.  I would love to help you!  Get in the right pool early on, don’t waste a bunch of time on a substitute for what you are really good at!

A Lot Can Happen…

What a week… I feel like an ipod that has no batteries left and all I can do is flash the little apple up on the screen and plead to be recharged!  Here are the highlights…

 

1. Trish finally went to the ER on Sunday and was diagnosed with adult onset asthma.  (her o2 level was 86 and her heart rate was 165!  Jogging at 4.5 mph will get you a heart rate of 145 or so if that gives you any ideas.)  The virus and probably some allergies she had in Texas sparked the asthma.

 

2.  Max is leaving today.  Max was the senior pastor of our church for 18 years, he is moving to Texas to retire and remarry.  We had a great farewell party for him Sunday.

 

3.  It has been a week of this virus for me, and they say I have another week to look forward to!

 

4.  They started moving dirt on our church property!  Here are a couple pics  (okay only one, I couldn’t get the others to work…

          

5.  I got “tagged” again to write down why I blog…I may do that tomorrow. 

 

6.  I did read an incredible book that I would highly recommend to all called, “the Shack.”  Check it out (here).

 

7.  Thank you to all the people that helped so much this past week.  We have great friends and family that really stepped up.  And let me tell you too, that our kids, all four of them, are fantastic!  They have done dishes, cooked, cleaned and really stepped up these past weeks.  Although they did threaten to put us in a “home” when we are old, they said we are not very good patients…very needy apparently!

 

So in an effort to catch up on all I have not done the last week, I am leaving now.  Thanks so much for your prayers and concerns…

  

sorry no post today

today would be a “Leadership Friday” but I am still recovering, so no post today. sorry