Over-Scheduled

 

I am trying hard not to over schedule myself, but I fear I did it again.  When you are booked tight and something comes up that is important and urgent, you have a crisis on your hands.  I think it is a little funny because this week I am preparing a sermon on Fun, part of our churches series of Priorities From God’s Perspective.  The point is we schedule our lives so full of stuff there is no margin them for fun or rest – both vital to our emotional, spiritual and physical health.  We work, work, work to make a “life” for ourselves but when we are done working we have no or little energy left, and then we hustle from one event to another never getting the “down time” our bodies need – not sleep, but just rest and relaxation.  Have you ever noticed the kind of conversations you get in with people when there is no time pressure?  The kind that happen around a restaurant table, grill, or in the kitchen?  Life happens in this space, this is the kind of margin – a spur of the moment “lets grab dinner” with close friends that I am certain is the way God wants us to live life.  This mindset puts the value on people and relationships, not activities and getting ahead.  It is the exact opposite of the “lets get together next month, I am booked solid until then!” that happens when we are overscheduled.  You and I were made to thrive in relationships, when we book our lives with activities we miss out on what we innately need.

 

I have to go prepare this message, I desperately need to hear it and apply it to my own life!

Leaders Are Lifelong Learners

One of the best lessons I have learned about leading is you can only lead people as far as you have gone yourself, so to be constantly improving and getting better you have to develop a plan for continued education.  There are several ways to do this including reading, listening to leaders, and my favorite – volunteering.

 

As a young person, and even for some of you older people lacking the practical experience because you haven’t been in the workforce for long, consider volunteering for a non-profit or church.  You will have the opportunity to lead larger groups that you ever could in a business situation.  It gives you hands on experience and usually someone to give you feedback and training.  I love to involve moms and young people in the churches I have served in because of their untapped potential.  You have the time and the desire, so find your passion and jump in.  There are websites to help you connect with volunteer opportunities – click here.

 

I also have a steady diet of podcasts.  If you don’t have itunes download it and check out these podcasts:

 

HBR Ideacast – This is Harvard Business Review’s webcast that covers the featured articles in their very expensive periodical.  There are great things in this cast, it is short and easy to learn from.  The podcast is free, the periodical is overpriced.

 

Manager Tools – these guys are coaches for 6 figured salary managers at large multinational companies, and their wisdom is free on their casts… I have gained a ton of knowledge from these guys!

 

Practically Speaking – this is mainly for church leaders, but Andy Stanley at one of the biggest churches in Atlanta is an incredible leader, you can apply his principles across broad disciplines.

 

I have also subscribed to John Maxwell’s CD club.  It is pricey, but John is one of the best leadership coaches in America today. 

 

I always thought once I was done with college I wouldn’t read another book in my life – unless it was strictly for pleasure… that was a lie I told myself!  Reading is a great way to continue learning too – some great authors that have helped me along include; Patrick Lencioni, Bill Hybels, Kouzes and Posner, and John Maxwell.  A great resource but another subscription is required is the Gallup Management Journal.  It is online and worth every penny. You cant go wrong with any of these.

 

Tailor your learning to your style and don’t get locked into your specialty, study across broad markets because you never know what will help you the most…  I hope this helps!  Lead well!

How To Really Embarrass Your Teenage Daughters

I had a decision to make.  I saw something that would potentially embarrass a person in authority and I had a split second to make a decision.  What would you have done in the following scenario?

 

The school your kids attend has a woman Principal that you have helped in the past with a difficult situation and have built a professional relationship with.  She is kind and helpful with the parents, and kind but stern with the kids, as you would expect from a Principal.  One day during an assembly as you are walking down the auditorium aisle to find your kids you notice the Principal standing in the aisle, her back to you, and there is a brightly colored neon green smiley face sticker in her hair. 

 

 

What would you do?  Would you leave it to hang there so all the kids can laugh at her as she continues walking down to address the crowd?  Would you whisper in her ear that she has something in her hair?  Would you assist her by removing the sticker?

 

This is a true story that happened early last week; I made a slit second decision and removed the sticker.  Right or wrong, I didn’t even think about it, but as a public speaker I worry about having embarrassing things like this happen to me, (I once new a guy that spilled his water bottle in his lap right before he had to go onstage in front of 1000 people to speak – wearing khakis.  I am VERY careful with my water bottle!)  What I didn’t realize as I helped her remove the sticker was that my twin’s entire 8^th grade class was watching me.  Apparently my assistance was reminiscent of a Gorilla preening its peers, and my girls have not let me off the hook since.  I knew that as they got older I would wind up getting more and more embarrassing to them – I remain the very cool guy I have always been in my own mind, but never did I realize that my assisting the Principal would be so upsetting that over a week later – and possibly for a lifetime – this story will pop up and bite me on the backside from my daughters.

 

So much for pulling stickers out of Principal’s hair, I don’t think I will ever do that again!

What was the most embarrassing moment caused by a parent for you – I want to hear it to be sure I can avoid any more of them!

 

PS.  Several of you have told me how much you appreciate this blog.  I wanted to thank you for your kind words of encouragement.  It is my privilege to inspire you, encourage you or somehow hopefully brighten your day.  I count it a true blessing that you are reading it.  If there is ever a subject or question that I could help with, please post it as a comment and I will do my best to address it.

A Great Family Outing? Not Sure Yet

I happened to be channel surfing last night while Trish talked to one of her sisters on the phone and came across a documentary on the Colorado Springs channel.  I usually am not a huge fan of documentaries, but this one was quite interesting.  It was all about an art piece that was being constructed for a local park.  It is really cool, it is really big, and I had never seen it before so I got hooked on the show.  Having been in Colorado Springs for about 13 years, I thought I knew all the cool stuff like this here, but apparently this went up when we were in Texas.  If it is nice today, I may load up the kids, a picnic lunch and take them to this cool park to see the fountain and play in it.

The Helical fountain rotates 4 times an hour, and you can frame Pikes Peak in it perfectly.  The light reflects off the “rain fall” so there are great colors reflecting off of it.  The funny part is once you look at it and get to it you spend the rest of the time looking at your feet when you are wading in the water!  It took 7 years to build and it was very difficult with the angles, the offset coil, and the water spouts had to be mounted to spray straight down no matter where they were on the coil.  There is a huge underground concrete control center too.  I am always amazed at how much engineering goes into these kinds of things…

I almost published this article, but as I was finding the link for you I picked up a blog feed from a local writer and last summer there were some concerns that the filters were clogging too quickly, so it was shut down a lot.  I need to find a way to see if it is operating this year.  That would be incredibly disappointing!!!  Get all the way down there and it isn’t operational!  And imagine the Local’s frustration too, all this time and money into the project if they can’t keep it working… Hmm, well we will just have to see.

I appreciate that there are people willing to work so hard to make something so cool come to life!  I hope they keep it working. 

Where do you like to go with your family for mini-escapes?

Everyone Needs A Catch-Up Day

I am trying to play catch-up today.  After the busy weekend, and all the emotions that were so strong yesterday, (Read about it here) – we took the family to a movie.  It was interesting to see how the emotions of the day before caught up with all of us.  The kids, who didn’t know their uncle that well even were under a heavy load.  Trish and I were pretty much out of commission.  Emotions can paralyze you and it was as if we needed a day just to get back on our feet.  I am always surprised at how a heavy emotional day can make you feel like you ran a marathon or got no sleep.  (sleep is not coming easy the past few days either.)  I also find it interesting that in the face of death and tragedy like this I long to be around kids – the younger the better.  Something about new life in the midst of death brings hope.  Sounds a lot like the Easter message again.

Tragedy: Say What You Need To Say & Say It Often

Yesterday started out great, we had a lot of people in Church, our highest attendance this year, and the service went well.  We went to my In-Laws for Easter dinner, and everyone was there, except my Brother-in-Law and Sister-In-Law that live in Florida.  Their son Matt is here and works for the family business.

 

Matt had just left the house when his mom called from Florida.  His dad collapsed in the shower and they were taking him to the hospital.  We still don’t know exactly what happened, but heart problems run in the family.  Matt is 25 years old.  Two of my Brother’s-in-Law and I tracked him down and told him, and we waited with him until his brother called with the tragic news that his dad didn’t make it.  It was hard.  There was a lot of pain, and a lot of questions.  Matt and his girlfriend, grandma and uncle got on a plane this morning to go to Florida to be together and make final arrangements.

 

Matt’s grieving went a lot of different directions, as you would expect, but the one thing that would have calmed his concern more than anything else is if he could have told his dad that he loved him more than he did.  They didn’t talk much, both working busy retail jobs, and the last conversation was only a couple sentences, “Dad, I have a customer, I have to go,”  “okay son, we’ll talk later.”  And they hung up.  He won’t get the chance again to talk to his dad, or see him alive.  No more baseball games together.  No more hopes of his dad seeing him get married, or meeting his grandchildren.  All of that is gone.  Trish keeps saying, “I cant imagine in one afternoon so much changing for that family.”  She is right…

 

There are no guarantees in life.  We don’t know if we have tomorrow or if it will be taken from us in the blink of an eye.  We do know that death is inevitable.  It is so important that we tell the people around us how we feel about them.  Don’t miss an opportunity to say, “I love you.”  Life is short and it can change dramatically without any warning. 

 

Matt’s mom was going through his dad’s Daytimer.  She found a card that said, “if I died today I would go to heaven,” with a Bible verse on it too.  Do you have that same assurance?  Heaven won’t be the same without you.  (click here)

Giving Makes You Happy

There are many studies and recent findings on the value of giving generously.  Most recently the news was reporting that those people that give generously to charities are happier.  I would agree.  I believe that the things we are entrusted with in this life are there specifically for us to share and use to benefit others.  I also believe that we are not meant to give everything we own away and live on nothing – I don’t think we have to live like paupers, but that we were created to enjoy things and good food.  The problem comes when we have so much and don’t see the needs around us.  It is fun to share with people in need, and it is fun to leverage our position to bless others.  I wish more people would do it. 

 

Leaders know that one of the demands of leadership is utilizing the resources available to them to help as many people as possible.  They have a way of connecting need with relief.  Whether it is in a Fortune 500 company moving budget money from one division to another to solve a problem, or in the elementary classroom when one student sees that another has no pencils, leaders leverage resources.  They see need, perceive it, and try to make changes that accommodate it. 

 

One of the easiest ways to be a leader no matter where you are is to look around and notice things and people.  What needs are not being met around you?  Where is the greatest problem?  What stirs your heart to act when you see something that needs to be done for someone?  Remember that it might not revolve just around money or things, but information and education are liberating resources as well.

 

I came across this quote some years ago that I think is a great way to live a giving life;

 

“If then you are wise, you will show yourself rather as a reservoir than as a canal.  A canal spreads abroad water as it receives it, but a reservoir waits until it is filled before overflowing and thus without loss to itself it shares its superabundant water.”

 

-       Bernard of Clairvaux

 

Decide what you need to live on, then allow the rest to flow through you.

The Bigger Story And You

You long for more, you put the book down and walk away, but your mind keeps mulling over the story, over the characters, you have lived with them now for days, and you love them.  You feel a pull into their lives, their circumstances, and they are now forever a part of your life.  You will never be the same.  The story was so inspiring, and it has caused you to look at life in a whole new way.  You feel parts of the story pulling at you, tugging at you in places that you have never explored, way deep down inside, almost primal.  It is almost as if parts of this story have been part of you since the beginning.  You feel it stirring up inside of you, and your only response is to wonder where these feelings are coming from.

 

What if you are part of it? What if from the beginning of time the plan was for you to be part of the bigger story going on around you.  You settle for a small story, your mundane life, living in the way you live, but you give up on the Hope that there is something more. Don’t give up, the small story is a half-truth, there is more and the bigger story has been part of your heart, mind, and soul since the beginning.  The world was created with a place in it just for you.  No one else can play your part and the story would not be complete without you.  You have important things to do.  It may be saving a nation from sure disaster, it may be saving one person from making a bad choice, but it is all important.  You may be entrusted with the lives of others – to shape and mold and help prepare for life as a parent.  You may be finding a solution to a problem that will ensure the health of mankind for years to come.  You may be destined to encounter one person that needs some encouragement and by you providing it, they may encourage another, and another and so on, changing a culture around them. 

 

Humans were created to be a part of a bigger story, a story that the Author wrote from the beginning of time.  You were on His mind when he wrote it, you are on His mind as it unfolds during these days. (read this!) He is longing for you to know Him as the intimate designer of your soul and personality.  He loves you and wants you to love Him, He has been waiting for you. (check this out) Not because of what He can give you, but because He is good and loving and kind, and He wants to be your partner as you travel this path you are on.  He has offered His love to you, He has made a way for you to know Him.  He has been pursuing mankind since they ate of the forbidden fruit and hid from Him in the bushes. (read that story here)    He can take all the stuff that you are ashamed of and make you new. (click here) All the bad stuff you have done, just ask and He forgives and forgets! (look) He is not hidden from you, all you have to do is ask Him to come to you. (knock, knock)

 

This weekend Christ Followers all over will celebrate His death and resurrection.  He lived a perfect life, took all of our failures on His shoulders and was executed on our behalf, He died and was buried in a tomb.  Three days later when they went to the tomb He wasn’t there, He beat death and is alive!  He is alive today as much as He was alive 2000 years ago.  He is waiting for you in heaven, preparing a place for you, and He desperately wants you to be with Him the rest of your days on this journey, and forever with Him on the next!  (read about Easter here)  Happy Easter – He is alive indeed.

The Gathering

Today is the day.  Many will gather; daughters, sisters, cousins, parents, in-laws and close friends.  It will be joyous and tearful.  It will be a reunion of sorts, and a new beginning.  It will be stressful, as the new one meets all these people for the first time.  It will be tiring for the couple that has traveled 27 hours to get here.  It has been a journey of years, all culminating in this day… they day they step off the airplane in his new home, and are together again as a family. 

The anticipation is overwhelming; the kids waiting behind cannot sleep.  The sisters are on cloud nine.  And the day will be a long wait.  Preparations are being made, signs saying, “Welcome Home,” a turkey dinner is being prepared for them, their first real American meal in over two weeks.  Falling back into their life, with a new child.  A son!  After three girls, a boy in the house.   The sisters cannot wait!

He has had an ear infection, and he will be grieving.  He is now in a new country, and everything is different – new foods, new language, new parents, siblings, sights, sounds and smells.  It must be overwhelming for a two and a half year old.  The old is gone, the new has come… somewhere deep in China there is an empty crib.  A place where this little boy’s laughter lit up the room, a place that no parents existed, only nannies – caretakers paid to watch over the kids.  A life that was limited to the four walls and the outdoor patio, now open to a world of possibilities.

And best of all, a huge group of people that will love this child, all waiting for this afternoon to go gather at the airport to welcome him to his new life.

 

A Group Of Friends, Everyone Needs One

Last Sunday night a friend of mine invited Trish and I to his house.  Every week he has a group of people over and they hang out, eat, talk and do life together.  It was so cool to see this group of people gathering, there were teenagers, college age kids, young adults and older adults there, and they just hung out and talked.  It was a Bible study too, but the thing that really stood out to me was that this group was an authentic, inspiring, caring group of people.  They had a white board that they used to pray for the needs in the group, but more than that they were praying for the needs of people that they knew that did not come to this group.  Regular people in their lives that needed help were on the board.  Trish’s name was on the board – she had been so sick and this group, most of whom we just met Sunday night, was regularly praying for her to get better.  It doesn’t matter what your view of prayer is to me, knowing that people care enough to pray for you that you have never met is a really cool thing!

It was neat to see how they cared for each other, encouraged each other, and wrestled with difficult issues like life, faith, God, and raising kids.  This is where real community happens, in people’s homes, over food and coffee, where real needs, desires, disappointments and struggles are worked out and walked through.  You have heard me say that “conversations are the intersections of influence,” and I believe we can all use the influence of our friends to make us better people.  Relationships matter.  They are important in our lives as we are shaped and molded by those around us, (hopefully for the better,) we become better people because of those that surround us, and hopefully they become better being surrounded by us!

Next time you are invited to come to someone’s house to participate in a group like this, I hope you do it!  Those of you that love to host groups like this – please start one, there are so many people living lonely lives that are longing for this kind of community!  It is an easy thing to do, start with food, everybody loves to eat.  Meet once a month in the beginning and let the relationships grow naturally.  Start with your neighbors, co-workers, or moms from school.  Don’t worry about Spiritual stuff, that subject will come up naturally in conversations as the group grows closer together and becomes safer to share… Develop chemistry, be in each other’s homes and lives, let community grow around you, be vulnerable, be caring, and let the rest take care of itself!  We all long for relationships, these kinds of groups are a great way to develop them.