I am struggling with doubts right now. I hate it because I usually am so good with trusting God and having faith in Him. Maybe because this is a much bigger responsibility than I have ever had before – or at least it feels like it. But regardless the thoughts cross my mind, and then the panic raises its ugly little head, and I have to fight it off. I can look back at this whole process and see all the great ways God showed up in them, from me looking for a job not sure where we were going to end up, to Him providing a worship leader every week for our church, to even the way the last Senior Pastor found a great woman to marry and start his retirement with! (they were both widows – no scandal here…) But regardless the doubts creep in and make me take inventory again and again…
As I am sitting here thinking about this and writing those thoughts, I cant help but think of the progress being made at the property right now… they are still drilling the piers into the ground. They are steel rods that are super strong and go between 14 and 21 feet deep. There are actually 175 of them! The idea is that as the foundation is poured these help support the building by adding additional stability in unstable conditions. It is kind of like our faith journey. When we find ourselves in unstable conditions we have to look to the times when God has shown up and drilled these kinds of piers into our experiences with Him. The times when He showed up with a check just when you needed it, or when you were so incredibly lonely and the phone rang with a friend on the other end of the line. The times when you saw glimpses of unconditional love through your children, or saw grace from your boss when you messed up. The times when you were absolutely sure no one was on your side, yet you felt a presence of something bigger and steadier than you have ever known. The times when your heart was broken and as you sat their in tears you had a peace come over you that you don’t understand. The finding of this job when I didn’t know what was next, or the week to week worship leader vacancy being filled – even the previous pastors marriage and retirement! All of those experiences are like these piers drilling down into your soul, trying to provide the stability in your life and the recognition that you are a masterpiece, you are in a great epic adventure, and God is waiting and trying to build an incredible life on your foundation.
It doesn’t make the nagging fears and doubts go away. We are all human, imperfect, limited in our ability to control life, so there are times we feel tossed and turned from the waves that come our way… but God, in His goodness, has been working for years in your life trying to show you that He is there, no matter what. I am praying that in the next few weeks He shows up big in this project, closing the open loops and bringing it all together in a way that lets every one know that He is at work in this project and so that He gets the credit, and we get one more pier in the foundation of our faith in Him. Will you allow Him to build into you? Will you become His building project? He is a master builder – just look at all He created!
PS… Just Added…
Graham loves Colorado earlier this week he was bragging how he was out on our deck cooling off from his run; well today is my type of weather! It is May first and only in Colorado can it be 77 one day and a white out the next. The funny thing is the news said just rain here in the springs soooo….. kids just have sweatshirts and short sleeves! This is my kind of weather as long as I don’t have to go anywhere!
Let it snow let it snow let it snow!
Trish
I doubt there will be any pier drilling today… but the fire danger will be down.