In an effort to spend more time with the family I will not be blogging the rest of the week. I will however be keeping up with what is going on via Twitted and sending tweets of what we are up too, so join me there and have a happy Thanksgiving!!!
Archive for November, 2008
Perseverance, kind of like patience, are a couple of words that I really dislike! I am not very good at either one. The past few weeks have been the kind of weeks that every moment is stuffed with something. I don’t typically do well if I don’t have some down time to relax and “escape” from my reality for a little while. I usually do that by watching a good action movie, reading, or building something. Anything to get my mind off the consistent problem solving / pondering it does when I am up to my eyeballs in work. I know that perseverance develops character, and I could always use improve character! But today I am tired… It has been like a long hike up a steep trail and around every corner I am anticipating a time I can sit and rest, but because of one thing or another there is no stopping. I am dreading the long day today; every other Tuesday my days start at 5:00 AM and don’t stop until 10:00 PM. Filled with good things, these Tuesdays are days of great opportunity to be with people on their faith journeys, but sometimes I would rather go fishing in the Gold Medal Water in Walden Colorado than be here.
I understand this is a season of intensity that cannot be avoided due to the nature of what I am involved in, planting a church, building a building, taking on tenants in the building, preaching weekly, developing people, it all takes time, and nothing can wait for the other things. The demand on my time is high and I am so looking forward to a break. I also know I will be stronger on the other side, a stretching that is necessary to grow me into a more capable person. Thursday cannot come soon enough; the idea of relaxing with family, watching the Dallas game, investing some solid evening hours in a movie, maybe hanging some Christmas lights on the house this weekend… it all sounds so good! Just get through today… and tomorrow… a little more perseverance… a little more patience… finish strong! Then maybe, just maybe, I can lean into some down time!
Two weeks ago the 9th grade went on a field trip for gym. They were hiking the “incline” of Pikes Peak, a popular trail that takes you up to the summit, but it is narrow, steep, and at times difficult. We signed the permission slips and prepared our twins for the journey. One was sick that morning and did not go. The other sometimes struggles with hyperglycemia so we made sure she had plenty of healthy snacks for the trip. About half way into the expedition she began feeling light headed and like she was going to pass out. The gym teacher decided that the best coarse of action was to leave her with another girl where she was until the rest of the group finished the climb. They left her and the other girl a radio and headed off. Our daughter was frightened and uncomfortable not only from feeling poorly, but also because several other hikers (most of them were male) stopped to ask if these two young girls needed help. She had a radio that kept her in contact with the group, but for over an hour these two girls waited on the side of the mountain, and we knew all about it because she had her cell phone with her and was calling us (sobbing and distraught) giving us updates, and we had now way to get to her in a reasonable time.
Needless to say we were upset by these events, but what made it worse was that when we talked to the teachers involved they made excuse after excuse for why it was our daughters fault for not being “healthy” enough for the climb; or how they were only 5-10 minutes away at all times, or how it was a “safe” spot that they were left in, or that she was in constant radio contact with the group. Come to find out that the gym teacher is not only on the Colorado Search and Rescue team, but she FREQUENTLY leaves her students on the side of the mountain unattended in situations like this. The mountains of Colorado are unpredictable enough that I believe it should never happen… especially when the subject is a teenage girl! Had the teacher outlined the plan to leave kids behind in the letter home to the parents or on the permission slip that may have changed our thought process of sending either twin on the hike! Instead of the school and the teachers listening I feel like they have made my wife and I out to be those crazy overprotective parents. I resent that – all I ask of my public school is that they protect my kids to the best of their ability, this was certainly not the case in this situation… So my question to you today… Am I crazy? Is this too much to ask? Am I being an overprotective dad?
If you are like most people, you are afraid to fail. Seriously, how many of us wake up in the morning, look out the window and say, “today looks like a great day to fail at something!”? But the truth is many of us experience failures in life, some of us again and again. Tony Morgan posted a blog last week highlighting several things that cause failure, and I thought I would share because there are many of us that cannot figure out why we are failing at things, and we could use a check-list to clarify the problems. Here are Tony’s top ten reasons for failure…
10 Reasons Why You’re Probably Going to Fail
1. It’s not your passion. If it doesn’t make your heart beat fast or cause your mind to race when you’re trying to sleep, you’re probably doing the wrong thing.
2. You don’t have a plan. You need a vision, and you need to identify specific steps to make that vision become reality. That includes a financial plan. (I happen to believe you need direction from God on this.)
3. You’re waiting for it to be perfect. Test-drive it. Beta-test that new idea. You’ll fall into the trap of inaction if you think it has to be absolutely right from day one.
4. You’re not willing to work hard. Everything worth pursuing in my life has involved discipline and perseverance.
5. It’ll outgrow you. Keep learning. Keep growing. But more importantly, build a team of people including leaders that can be who you’re not.
6. You’ve had success in the past. I’ve watched organizations hang on to a good idea for too long. Time passes. Momentum fades. It’s risky to let go of the past and jump on the next wave.
7. You’re unwilling to stop doing something else. Complexity is easy. Simplicity takes discipline. You can’t build a healthy marriage if you’re unwilling to give up dating other women. Who/what do you need to stop dating?
8. You won’t build a team of friends. Anyone can hire from a resume. You need to find people you want to share life with. In the long run, great relationships will get you out of bed in the morning.
9. You won’t have the tough conversations. When breakdown happens (and it always does), someone needs to put on their big-boy pants and initiate the difficult conversation that leads to relational healing.
10. You’re afraid of failure. When fear consumes you, it will cause you to do stupid things. You’ll let negativity distract you. You’ll embrace the known, and grow comfortable with mediocrity. The more often you fail, though, the more often you’ll find success.
Failure is how we learn and grow. If we stop failing all together it probably means we are stagnant and not attempting anything new. You cannot expect to be perfect or even excellent at anything new to you, so take the risk, follow these rules, and embrace #10 – don’t become mediocre. But if you find yourself stuck in a pattern of less than optimal results, explore these statements, bring someone into your inner circle that can be honest with you regarding these principles, and make the changes you need to make to break through and learn from failure.
So yesterday was a lousy day. The stomach bug has been going through our house this week and I did everything I could to avoid it, to no avail… Early in the morning, and throughout the day, I was doing “the sick man quick step” to the bathroom. I am of no use when I am sick. I lay around and try to sleep. Yesterday I caught myself staring at the ceiling fan in our room, just staring… and that is about what I do. I tried to watch a couple shows on the computer; 30 Rock and My Own Worst Enemy, because I had heard they are good, but I couldn’t get into them. I couldn’t even work.
Trish can keep on going right through this kind of illness. Unless she is near death, like last year, she can keep doing kid drop off and pick up, go to the store, and laundry… not me, I just lay in a vegetative state. I will attempt to get back to work today because Sundays don’t stop coming, and by 3:00 will need a nap!
So what about you? What do you do when you are sick? Watch movies, TV, read, sleep? I am curious, so let us in!
I have a couple issues I need your help thinking through… Both are about other organizations (in each case they are the schools my kids attend) and how they handle difficult situations. I get tired of feeling like the squeaky wheel, so I need your input.
First, our 6th grade daughter’s teacher has had some health issues and made the difficult decision to step down. After she talked to the principle about her desire to stop teaching and her willingness to stay on through December if necessary to ensure that the kids and the school didn’t suffer any negative consequences, she informed all the parents of her decision before telling the kids at parent teacher conferences. The school began the process of finding her replacement, and had several potential teachers come into the classroom for evaluation. The kids were told of the pending change, and as the school narrowed down on a replacement, the teacher’s last day was to be this Wednesday. Yesterday she had a doctor’s appointment mid-day and was told by the principle that she need not return afterward – at all… take her belongings and don’t come back.
So the kids thought they would have time to say goodbye to her tomorrow. She thought she could say goodbye to the kids tomorrow. She is a good teacher that has formed deep relationships with the kids, and they are going to miss her. The school was supposed to send out a note to the parents telling them of the change yesterday afternoon, but our daughter was home sick so we haven’t seen it yet.
It seems to me that this abrupt change will have a negative impact not only on the students, but the teachers and parents as well. There is no closure for any of those involved. The kids are feeling misled, let down and sad, I am sure the teacher feels the same way. I feel like something should be said to the administration about how this was handled, but I may be too personally involved as a parent of one of the kids in the class.
So here is your opportunity to speak to this: Was this handled well? What would you have done differently? Is it a big deal? What would you say to the administration if you could? What do you tell the kids that feel disillusioned and lied to? What do you say to the teacher if you get a chance? As Pete Wilson would say, this is an “all skate” so feel free to add your comments! (Case study #2 will be posted later this week or next… we are still working through it, so I need more time to think about it.)
One of the values of our church is innovation. We will constantly be trying new things that will allow us to make forward progress, but that is not done without risk. Sometimes the risks you take in life have great outcomes, but sometimes they fall flat. The person that stops trying because they are afraid of the negative consequences will get stuck in a rut and will miss out on potential break-throughs that can make the difference between being good and being great. I am all about trying, and whether it works or not, evaluating the experience. The best learning in life comes from evaluating everything we do. I will always strive to learn from the good things we are doing and learn more from the things that did not go as we hoped. But to do that we have to foster an environment that allows us the freedom to try. We cannot be fearful to take risks or we will miss out on some incredible things. We all have heard the stories of people that “failed” over and over again until the right combination was discovered and great innovation followed.
As I have been reading this week and last I came across two things to remind us how important it is to allow people the opportunity to experiment in an environment free of condemnation and damaging criticism.
The first comes from a great blogger and leader in Atlanta, Carlos, here is a quote he posted about our personal attitude towards criticism that hits me right where I live!
“If you find yourself criticizing other people, you’re probably doing it out of Resistance. When we see others beginning to live their authentic selves, it drives us crazy if we have not lived out our own. Individuals who are realized in their own lives almost never criticize others. If they speak at all, it is to offer encouragement. Watch yourself. Of all the manifestations of Resistance, most only harm ourselves. Criticism and cruelty harm others as well.”
- Steven Pressfield From The War of Art.
The other is from Rev Run, the guy that used to be the lead Rapper in Run DMC. He is a great guy and offers great daily insight into God, Faith and life…
“Good morning. Correction does much, but encouragement does more. – John O’Donohue”
God is Love
Rev Run
When people put themselves out there, lets be sure we don’t blow them up, but instead offer encouraging words of affirmation and see what we can do to help them learn – not only from mistakes and disappointments but also success… and let’s give them the time to get it down.
At the conference we attended yesterday the main speaker, Eric Swanson, made a statement that I thought was absolutely perfect. He said, as we attempt to make a difference for Christ in people’s lives, we need to “meet them in their point of pain.” It was a beautiful statement in a world where so many are struggling with so much, and for so long the church has responded with judgment instead of compassion. If we truly want to model the life Jesus lived, we have to be willing to go into the heartbreak, difficulty, and messiness of people’s lives; instead of distancing ourselves from those struggles, we need to join the broken and hurting in them. And if we are honest with ourselves we must admit that we all have broken and messy parts in our own lives.
This concept came true to life last night as a close friend stopped by late struggling with life. Trish and I stayed up listening, sharing, and empathizing with them. It was hard, as through the tears we offered support and encouragement and prayers. There is no judgment, no condemnation, only hope and love in these kinds of situations, and we all need people around us willing to help us through the painful situations of life. When was the last time you were met by someone in your place of pain? When was the last time you met someone else in their place of pain? Knowing we are not alone, and people are willing to roll up their sleeves and meet us there, offering encouragement and support through those times will make this world a better place, and take us back to the place where understanding how Jesus lived and wants us to live makes a huge difference in a life where hurt and uncertainty can be overwhelming.
I am kind of excited about today. I love going to conferences, learning new things, the music, the speakers and the energy in the room. I haven’t been to a conference in a long time, because typically it is a very expensive proposition; you have to fly to where the conference is, stay in a hotel, pay the entrance fee, eat out, and rent a car…. you get the idea… So a new church start is a few years from ever being able to afford this kind of thing for the staff. (It is extremely valuable to take a team to a conference and well worth the money) So I was thrilled that a conference is in Colorado Springs on “The Missional Church” a new buzzword in the church community that essentially stands for churches getting back to the basics; meeting people where they are in life on their turf, taking care of practical needs like painting houses, caring for orphans and homeless, and doing the things that the Bible says we should be doing in the community, and not expecting the community to show up at the church’s door when they need something.
One of the speakers is Eric Swanson. His book about doing church differently was foundational to what I believe a church should be doing. I am also thrilled becase as part of the “church planters” network here in Colorado Springs the event is free for us! I am taking two other people with me today, so it should be great! I will keep updates going through Twitter and Facebook, so if you are interested follow me there. And I will post more things that may be interesting tomorrow!
I love Phil Cooke, he is doing some amazing things in the media industry and has great insights on his blog. This week he posted some very encouraging news he heard about intelligence. As success in school is measured by the grades you receive, success in the world is not. As I was taking some seminary classes a few years ago trying to juggle the demands of work, home and my personal life, Trish and I had a joke, “what do you call a pastor with a C average?” Answer, “a pastor.” Seriously, how many of you ask your doctor what kinds of grades he or she got in med-school? So if you are like me, these stats Phil shared from his post were very encouraging…
50% of CEO’s were C or C minus students
65% U.S. Senators were in the bottom half of their class
75% of U.S. Presidents were in the lower half of their graduating class
50% of millionaires never finished college
When it comes to leadership, it’s not just about intelligence. After all, many college faculties are filled with brilliant people who will accomplish very little in their lives. When it comes to leadership, never forget character, competence, chemistry, and passion.
Passion fuels your purpose – not intelligence.
Success in life is more about your passion than your smarts!!! Thanks Phil! I needed that!
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