On Again Off Again: The Battle Between Fear And Faith

Posted: August 5, 2008 in Daily Blog

Lately I have been in a struggle of personal confidence. I am beginning to see that life is a series of these kinds of struggles; sometimes I have complete confidence in the way things are going and my abilities, sometimes I feel like things are coming undone so completely that I doubt it all. Call it a “faith” issue, or “lack of trust” but regardless it seems to be a mixture of all things flying off the table then all of a sudden everything is back to normal.

When I look back at my life I see this same pattern repeated again and again. Although when I look back, those things that seemed confidence shattering don’t seem to be nearly as life altering now – they seem small compared to what is happening today. I came across an idea that is marinating in my mind; let me float it here and tell me what you think…

Life’s challenges become greater as a magnitude of scale. If you are faithful with the “small things” (they don’t feel so small at the time) you encounter greater challenges that test, try, and stretch you into a more and more faithful person.

I see this over and over again in the leadership and lives of those people I watch and study. I see it over and over again in my own personal life. I wish that I could boldly and confidently look at the challenges I face with this perspective in mind and know that someday I will look back and see all the growth I experience through this time, or that it all worked out for good, but right now I am in that back and forth cycle of fear and faith. And it can change with an email, a phone call, or a thought.

Today my issues are;
• Personal leadership ability
• The ups and downs of a building construction project
• Managing the partnerships necessary to make the building project successful
• Growing a church from a small group of people to making a significant impact in our community and the live’s of the people in the community
• Being a good friend to my wife, and a good husband
• Being a good father
• Being a faithful Christ Follower

Any of this ring true with your life experiences? Share with me, I need to know I am not in this alone!

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Comments
  1. MELISSA says:

    Uncle Graham,
    you have no idea how much help you are to me. Just reading your blogs and knowing, personally reading that someone has, or is going through the same type things, is a tremondous help. Sometimes when i try to talk to my good friends, they dont see how much i really need them and blow it off, it only pushes me further down into the ground. I struggle with having confidence in being able to tell someone how i really feel and get help when i need it. I strive to be independent, and to work everything out by myself. But i am starting to realize no matter how hard i try, i still need someone to rely on. That is just one of my many problems i am struggling to overcome.

  2. Nick says:

    Graham

    It encourages/scares me when I see older men who have walked well say “I’m starting to see…”. It makes me feel better that I don’t have to have it all figured out by 25…and scares me to think of the mistakes I’ll keep making.

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